royals4ever1988

Since everyone seems to be doing it now, here's my Uni update:

Had the six offers in early November, so had completely forgotten about it until everyone else was getting to the same point:

Aston -ABB
Essex- 300 from 21 units
Surrey- ABB
Exeter- AAB
UWE- BCC
Oxford- BBB

Have accepted Surrey as my firm choice, and Essex as my insurance. I'm Essex is practically unconditional. So 40 points from my History C, and the offer is 260, which is BCC. Potentially even less if i do OK in Critical Thinking. lubbly jubbly

I would have taken Exeter as my firm choice, but then i figured i wouldn't get those grades. Of course, having taken 3 resits in January, i could be in a totally different position, and, if I got full UMS in my Tech and Biology resits, would be looking at three As... Shouldn't have cocked them up first time round really.

The relevance of the 3 As is that if i get those grades, i'll get a scholarship of £1000 from Surrey, which would be quite handy, as it'll pay for a third of my tuition fees!

Also, do any of you know when/how we're supposed to apply for Student Loans? Do we do it through school, or through Uni or just on our own? Someone told me the deadline's not far away...

Two more offers today:


Exeter: AAB (grades, rather than points).

Surrey (my favourite of the four i've visited so far): 320 points.


Interestingly, no uni's that have replied to me have said anything about me needing Critical Thinking. And three of the four have said that my points/results must be in no more than three full A Levels, with no additional AS's.

UWE said mine must be from at least two A Levels. I regret applying there now, it was a waste of an option, 'cos frankly, if i get that low in my A Levels, i'll cancel my application and apply again next year.

Essex's prospectus say they generally give offers for 3 1/2 A Levels. And Oxford *'s prospectus says they like Critical Thinking.

So, people, if none of these unis say i need to do Critical Thinking is it worth dropping it? (Wheeler's jokes are bad enough in Tech, having them in CT is too much. And Gooser is in our set...).



So, on a final note- HAHAHAHAHAHA, i have more offers than everyone. Including those who applied to Oxbridge and the like.

I got two offers today!!!!


UWE (my total back up choice for if it all goes balls up)- minimum of 260 points (BCC).

Aston (maybe choice, if Surrey don't give me an offer, though i hear they're "quite" good for Business!)- ABB.


Get in. Except of course, now i need to actually visit both of these, to see if they're worth accepting and if i like the Uni, having only visited Oxford, Surrey and Essex.

1-22 = ghetto

23-33 = average

34-44 = spoiled

45+ = way upperclass/rich

PUT AN x BY THE THINGS YOU HAVE THEN ADD UP YOUR TOTAL

How do certain things, such as "having a job" contribute to being upper class/spoilt? Surely having a job means you're lower class? It is as far as i know, the richer people i know don't have jobs...


[x] Mother
[x] Father
[ ] Sister
[x] Brother
[ ] Nephew
[ ] Niece
[x] Cell phone
[ ] Own bathroom
[x] Own room
[x] 2 story house
[ ] Swimming pool
[ ] Hot tub
[ ] Guest room
[ ] Computer, Laptop or desktop in your room
[x] TV
TOTAL:7

[ ] Full or bigger bed
[ ] More than 5 pairs of shoes
[x] Sunglasses
[ ] Watch
[x] Mp3 player/iPod
[x] Ps2
[ ] Xbox
[ ] Nintendo DS or PSP
[ ] Gameboy/ Advance
[ ] Gamecube
TOTAL:3

[ ] Basketball hoop
[ ] Air hockey table
[ ] Pool table
[ ] Ping pong table
[x] Table Football table
[ ] Trampoline
TOTAL: 1

[ ] Nightstand
[x] Stereo in bedroom
[x] DVD player
[ ] Have something from abercrombie and fitch or hollister
[x] get £100 a month--or more (yes. in wages, though i'm sure that's not what the question's referring to)
[ ] shop at AE
[ ] Owns a gucci, dooney & bourke, louis vuitton, coach
[ ] Expensive dishes
[ ] Wears Lacoste
[ ] Parents give you credit card
TOTAL: 3

[x] Job
[ ] Goes shopping at least once a week
[ ] Expensive cologne/perfume
[x] AIM/MSN
[ ] Camera
TOTAL: 2

[x] Electric/gas scooter/motorcyle/car
[ ] Guitar/drums/Bass guitar
[ ] Piano/keyboard
[ ] Any other instrument
[ ] Hammock
[ ] Been on a cruise
[x] Traveled out of the country
[ ] Had a Personal trainer
[ ] Expensive jewelry
[x] Seen a celebrity (loads of Reading players/ex-Reading players)
TOTAL: 3

[ ] Straightener/curling iron
[ ] Been to a batting cage/or have one
[ ] Have $100 on you right now
[x] Credit card or atm card/debit card
[x] Been to Europe
[ ] Been to Hawaii
[ ] Been to NYC
[ ] Been to Chicago
[ ] Been to LA
[ ] Been to Florida
[ ] Been to Mississippi
[ ] Been to the Bahamas
TOTAL: 2

[x] Car
[ ] Jet
[x] been Camping
[ ] been to 5+ states in the US
[x] 20+ buddies on myspace
[ ] More than one house
TOTAL: 3

[x] Home cooked meal ALMOST every day
[ ] Been in a limo
[ ] Been in a helicopter
[ ] Own a camcorder
[ ] Own a laptop
TOTAL: 1

24- So very nearly Ghetto.

Is it too late to call in sick to work?

I'm supposed to start in an hour, but i'd rather goto the party; especially since i'll be like the only one there legally allowed to drink...

I think i might get busted though, having asked for time off last night...

Summer Holidays are finally here! Wooh.

-Hehehe... to everyone who's paid several thousand pounds to visit a hot country this summer, gutted. I've not spent a penny for my summer, and i get Sunny Reading.

-Tell a lie- i'm going to Sw*ndon on saturday.

-I've been shocked by my lack of "withdrawal symptoms" by not seeing the Mighty Royals play this summer. It helps that the World Cup was there, otherwise it would have been three months without a match of football!

-So, on saturday, i'll be at my first friendly of the year, watching Reading beat our 'good friends' at Sw*ndon.

-I'm also going down to Portsmouth for the weekend next week.

-I see the England cricket team have gone back to their traditional status of *SHOCKING* at all forms of cricket. the Ashes were soooo a one off.

-Rugby League: Leeds are going to lose first place in the Super League to St Helens. But it doesn't matter, cos they've pretty much made playoffs already.

-Mistry Man passed his driving test... and he's already Christened his car "Daksha's Mini". I wonder how she'll get on with "Bertha the Rover".

-I've had a hair cut- my head feels all naked.

-UCAS forms, always a laugh.

Anyhoo; i'm off up the Oak soon. So si'thee later.
x

But don't worry, it's not going to be an uber-update. But since there's no school tomorrow, i'm doing very little with any meaning.

-I've started to notice the downside to driving (although only a very minor one). I've become "Des" already- take tonight for example, my mum wants picking up from the station at 11, so I can't drink tonight. Not that i would... under 18s shouldn't drink...

-it's 75 days til im 18! I know people in yr13 who aren't even 18 yet- how gutted must they be?

-Unis: i've been to open days at Oxford* and Essex, and they both look great- i'll definitely be applying there.

-I've tried to narrow down the Unis i want to go to, and am definitely restricting it to the South. I would be going to Bristol tomorrow, but they only offer my course with Accounting or Economics, and that's not happening.

- So the unis i'm interested in are (for Business Management):

Essex
Exeter
Surrey
Brighton (GAYS)
Oxford*
Hertfordshire
Aston
Sussex

There's a couple more i'm mildly interested in, but i'll need to narrow those down to six.

So... yeah.














*Brookes :P

...so i thought i'd fill your little world right up.

OK...

-Exams, always an enjoyable event. I didn;t think i'd done too badly; Biology i certainly think i can get a B in, the same goes for Economics (though, i quite liked the paper we had, so you never know... it could be an A. If only i hadnt' buggered up the Foundation/Market System paper in Januray), but i will almost definitely be continuing those two next year.
-History... i am losing the will to go to these lessons. I thought i was doing OK, but oooooh no. English history with Miss Colson was OK, because she's a good teacher, and that's actually an interesting topic (English history is sooooooo much more relevant to me). But European history sucks. It's not even the good type of European history (i.e. The World Wars, the expansion of various empires); no, it's the sodding history of Christianity. And i thought i'd escaped Da Rev and his crazy religious studies. To rub salt into the proverbial wound, we are going to be dropping Christianity this year, and will instead be studying the expansion of Islam. Also, we've now got Holt instead of Colson. And we're starting coursework already.
-Technology, despite Mr Dance assuring us that "this year's test will definitely be on plastics, the exam board has confirmed it", and the test naturally being on Woods instead, i didn't think i'd done too badly at all. That was, until Wheeler went through the paper. I;ve made such little mistakes, but they lose the whole marks. For example, on one question i wrote "Capacitor" rather than "polarised Capacitor" and have lost 2 marks for it. GAYITIES.

Ah well...

So! we are technically Year 13. I am, bar three people, officially the oldest in the school. I am 18 in less than 3 months! Wahey! I am destined to become the rest of the year's supplier. Though being the oldest does have it's downside- there is no-one in my year i can go to the pub/clubs with (because you all waited until 1989). Im stuck with my old footy team, which isnt a bad thing- the Doos are always a laugh.

Tech projects need to be started- i'm going to be making some 'funky' furniture. I can visualise what i want to make, but i'm finidng it hard to write down... it's going to be wooden, made with a softwood, and a really nice, light coloured, smooth exotic veneer, with dulled metal extensions and frames. I want it to include other stuff too, like lights (and lava lamps, but i need to find out the chemicals needed to make the lava). It looks great in my head, no doubt it'll be much worse in reality.

At least it can't be worse than Steve "Turnip" Burnipp's. He made a steam engine, spent several hunderd pounds on it; it didn't work, and blew up (he boiled Methylated spirit, rather than water) and the workshop had to be evacuated. He spend nearly every day in teh workshop on it, breaks and after school. He got 13/105. In contrast, i spent £45 on my lift, spent no more than a month building it, all in lessons, except one after school 'sesh', and it was one of only four projects that worked consistently on its own. I got 69/105. That's nearly 6 times his mark, for one sixth of the cost and one sixth of the effort. GUTTED STEVE. As it is, he is highly unlikely (unless he excells in the exam) to even break a D. I can realistically aim for a B, since my mark was 1 off the B threshold.

Wow, i've written alot. But never fear, im not done yet:

So the exams are out of the way, but the even bigger news is...

I CAN DRIVE!!!! I passed my test on thursday, with 1 minor and 0 majors. My examiner actually said it was one of the best drives she's ever been on. Of course, i havent' mentioned this was my third attempt, so i knew the area quite well...

Even so, get in. I've got my parking permit form all filled in and ready to get my permit tomorrow. Have you seen the permit? They're very sophisticated. It's a little green circle you stick on your windscreen.

I've also gotten a pretty cool radio, fifty quid from Argos, but it plays CD/Tuner(FM,MW,LW)/MP3; so the car is sorted.

--------------

The World Cup is on! England are playing atrociously, but are somehow still winning. What goes on in that man (Sven Goran Erriksson)'s head is beyond me: we're playing shit against Paraguay, having only scored from an own goal, so he takes off Michael Owen, leaving Crouch up front on his own, with no-one to head the ball down to, and expects us to score?

Also, Owen Hargreaves only gets into the England team because he is Sven's son from an affair a long time ago, and he doesn't want it leaked out. You heard it here first. I guarantee that when McClaren takes over in August, Hargreaves will be the first one dropped.

OK, so yeah, we're shit, but still winning, maybe thats the kind of luck you need to win the cup? It's gotta happen eventually, and we've got the best team on paper (Terry & Rio, best defenders in the world, Gerrard and Lampard, best midfielders in teh world, and Rooney- best striker in the world). Why on earth did he take Walcott though? Choosing an untested 17 year old who's played 3 games of professional football, not one minute in teh Premiership, over players like Ashton, Defoe or (heaven forbid) Andy Johnson...

Also, our monday night season is over, we got knocked out of the cup 3-2 to the team we'd beaten 3-2 the week before. Such a lucky winner too, they got a last minute free kick, and managed to score it. Ah well, there's alwasy next year.
------------------


OK, last one, i swear.

I'm giving blood on wednesday. I told my tech set about it, and all i got back was "why? you're nto getting paid for it, like Sperm donation". How selfish is that? You'd think it's just an off-the-cuff the comment, but it's exactly the kind of pompous, money-above-all attitude you sterotypically expect from a grammar school.

It takes 30 minutes to donate blood, they only take a pint, and your body replaces it all within hours. why would you even think of asking for money for it? The National Blood Service are a charity, relying on the charity of people to keep the country's dwindling blood supplies flowing. Blood only survives for a week after removal from the body, so donors are constantly in demand.

Only 25%(ish) of the country donates blood regularly. I've done it everytime i've been eligible.

What if you needed a blood transfusion, but people who hadnt been paid for their blood hadn't donated so you couldnt have any. Wouldn't you regret that attitude? That is one of the worst things about Reading School- the pompous, money central attitude, where success is all that matters (e.g. me being told that by getting jsut two B's at GCSE, and 10 other results above, that i had grossly underachieved- how many students from other schools would be delighted to get two B's as their highest grades!?!?!?). Anyway yeah, some people at that school need to start thinking about something other than their success and bank accounts.

I urge you all to give blood, you can give it from when you're 17. You jsut go along- the nurses are very friendly and helpful, and you can sign up to be a donor on teh spot. you even get a little card to show off to people about your bloody giving greatness. The next one in Tilehurst is on Wednesday, and since Jon and Viraj want lifts home, i'm going to take them via the donation centre, as im going there on my way home, and i hope they'll be doing it too!

OK- thats been the last few weeks of my life, and i can't put Biology off anylonger, as i have work in an hour.


Laters.

Evening all.

Here it is... the update of my last few weeks:

-Party. Basingstoke. Difficult getting home. Everyone knows the story by now.

And the party of the week was last Saturday. That's right, Viraj's 17th. Of course, since he turned 17, we were legally obliged to all supply alcohol for the party. Which, considering only Bob is 18, was quite an achievement. I will now regail you all with the parts i remember.

-it all began about 2pm, when having done Viraj's last minute shopping at Rusts for him, i arrived, and we instantly hit the spirits.
-He, Nik and Niv had been doing whisky shots for about half an hour before that, so i was already behind!
-We made cocktails, some taken from a website Viraj found, and i semi-invented my very own cocktail. The original was the Big Bad Drink (shot of whisky, shot of gin, pineapple juice), but my- by far better- variation was The Bad Boy Fucker (couple of shots of each of: Whisky, Gin, Rum, Vodka, Tequila, and about half a glass of Bailey's and Malibu. And of course a bit of pineapple juice, so it wasn't all alcohol). This jug contained about 12 units, and looked disgusting, but it tasted pretty nice. I know i made more than one jug, and that no-one would drink the first one, so hmmm where could that have gone?
- We also made a special cocktail, "Urine Sample" whisky and lemonade, put in a microwave for a minute. It looked, felt and smelt like piss. Since none of those three would drink it, i showed my Urine-drinking prowess by downing it for them.

Then came five o clock, and everyone else turned up!:P

-No-one else drank bitter! They all stuck to Stella, which i didn't like. bitter's great- it tastes just like your lager's been waterred down and someone's dropped their cigarrete butt in there, but still tastes alright.
-We got through several crates, until Burgess etc crashed the party (sort of), and nicked one of the crates. Bob and Jon proceeded to chase them and actually managed to get the last crate back out of their car!
-I almost had my head shaved, but *fortunately* the fucker got stuck in my hair, so they had to cut it out, meaning i only lost a tiny bit of hair. Apparently i kicked a few people in the struggle, which is always good.
-Then there was a blank part of my memory for an hour or so.
-Melv passed out first (understandably, he had downed a glass of Absinth earlier in the day), so with the permanent marker, we left our mark on his face. Writing the traditional "GAY" across his forehead, giving him whiskers, and colouring in his nose.

-Sunday morning, several hangovers, stank the bus out with our alcohol whiff on the way to the Reading match.
-In case you didn't already know, Reading won the league. We saw them get the Championship trophy, which was cool. Some tits ran on the pitch. They thought they were really cool. they weren't so sure when the stewards confiscated their season tickets (HAHAHA, no Premiership football for those nobs next year).

OK, yeah great. I oughta get back to tech; Dance hasn;t taught us much this year, so im currently reading the course notes, for what we're supposed to know.

Laters.

Time for my monthly update thing...

-I failed my driving test last month; 6 minors (which is very low) and 1 major. The examiner was really petty- i fail to see how "Being too far from the kerb" when reversing round the corner is dangerous. Especially when there was no cars around when we did it. After all, it's a minor if you do somehting dangerous when no-one's around; it's only a major if other cars are around.
-Ah well, i've booked my retest for the 18th of May. If i fail this, i'm just not going to tell anyone, nor tell anyone when my re-retest is, so no-one can ask me if i failed the next one.
-I did a practice exam with my instructor today... just the 1 minor! get in. However, i did turn in the road, and parallel park, which are frankly, piss-easy. I just hope the dreaded reverse round the corner doesn't come up next time!

-I'm off to *****'* ***** *** * ***** ** ********, but don't tell anyone.

-Also, last game of the season for The Champions/Unbeatables/Reading on Sunday. We need 3 goals and 3 points to be the first team to break 100 goals and 100 points in the same season. Plus those three points would give us 106 points- making Reading the best ever Championship team.
-My tin-foil Championship Trophy will be making it's debut on Sunday. If you see it on the news, you'll know it's me (because NO-ONE ELSE will have thought to do it).I am also sorely tempted to wear one of my retro-Reading shirts, just to show i've been going for so long, that it's about time we got promoted. But then again:
i got my Goalkeeper shirt (as worn by Borislav "the Bulgarian" Mikhailov and Shaka "Newcastle United/Pompey" Hislop when i was 7.

I got my RFC "last season at Elm Park" replica shirt (as worn by Phil "club legend" Parkinson and Jimmy "Shrewsbury Town manager" Quinn) when i was 10;

i got my RFC "first season at Madesjki Stadium" goalkeeper's shirt (as worn by Phil "give the ball to the Oxf*rd striker" Whitehead and Peter "van der Prat" van der Kwaak) when i was 11.

so i don't think they'll fit anymore.

My Away 01/02, 3rd strip 01/02, home 03/04, away 03/04, and home 04/05 do still fit. so at least there's a choice :)

I'm going to be one of those really tacky fans next year (as are most people i've spoken to, e.g. Viraj).
I wanna get the Premiership home shirt, will be really sad and do those Premiership football stickers; and do everything else gimmicky to do witht the Premiership, simply because this could be Reading's only ever time in the Big League. I'll also be buying the DVD of the season, of course- can't miss that!

Also, i've seen odds of 15/1 for Reading to stay up next year, so i'll be getting my dad to stick a tenner on that for me! Could win £160!

I guess it's about time i wrote something here.

I've stupidly paused from Tech (which i've been doing since 3), and am now finding it hard to get back into the swing of it, hence why i'm here.

Events of the last month or so...

-Reading are promoted! Though i'm not allowed to mention it in Economics or Tech under threat from Sween n Jelly that "hands will go under the table"...
-Teching is sooooo good and bad at the same time. Bad: it's totally inproportionate to other subjects in the amount of time i spend on it. Good: It's tech; we destroy, build and laser cut stuff.
-Steam Turnip semi blew up his tech today; the workshop now stinks of Methylated Spirit... nice...
-Sean in yr 13 also bandsawwed his hand, cutting it down to the bone and needing 7 stitches. Not a bad day for accidents, really!
-Driving test next weds.I should really be nervous, but i've got way too much else on my mind to even think about being nervous; this must be a good thing, as im just gonna have to come to it and get on with it. A little pre-emptively, my dad's already asked me to drive over to the Mad Stad and buy some tickets for Sheff Weds away once i've passed!
-I've improved my average mocks! 1st time: i could actually spell DUDE. This time round, i can spell BUCE. I'm hoping that with effort and work, that'll read ABBB in the summer...
-Festival tickets out on monday! wooh!
-I am absolutely wankered. I have a noticeboard in my room, and there is no space left for any mroe reminders. At least by the end of the week, Biology and Tech cwk can be removed from it.

Anyway, tech beckons.

Bye x

Ay up, i suppose i ought to write something, as it's been over a fortnight, so you get to revel in what-i've-been-upto-for-the-last-fortnight-and-a-bit:

Of course, this requites me to be able to piece together that time...
This isn't going to be in chronological order for the most part.

OK...

-Less Than Jake in Brixton soon, and we still don't have anywhere to go after the gig, as the trains to Reading stop before we can get back to Paddington (i'm told).
-Football, Reading, Unbeatable.
-Birmingham 2-1 Reading... doesn't count...
-The guys i work with are Reading Season Ticket holders, who also have to leave early for tomorrow night's game, which is handy...
-Work Experience, i'm at a law firm in Tilehurst. Went to the Magistrates Court on Monday. Worked on a case/wills etc on Tuesday. Sold some houses on Weds. Was supposed to goto the Crown Court todya (same place as the Mary Ann Lenaghan trial), but the judge was overbooked, so we couldn't go. Since nothing else was organised for me today, it was boring wth little to do. However, i am now quite good at sodoku.
-I kept setting off alarms in the courts' entrances, not quite sure how, but i appear to have metal in my shin and my chest. At least, that's what both their scanners told me...
-Festival tickets due out in the next two months! What a shame the Strokes are headlining, but the Kaisers/Arctic Monkeys/Editors are also set to play major parts! Besides, camping with all my homies was one of the best parts of last year.
-Isn't it funny how everyone likes the Ordinary Boys now? I mention this because my brother is a Chav/Gangsta-Rap connossieur(sp), who took the piss out of all Indie/Rock etc stuff before thingy went on Big Brother, yet he now loves them. "Coincidence", he claims. Yeah...
-Football again, my team are out of the cup. We lost 6-2 in the Quarter Finals of the Berks and Bucks cup. It was fun while it lasted, and this is the furthest they've ever gotten!
-Katie's off to skiing place, in central Europe somewhere (that covers Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Fr*nce, Spain, so i'm covered for not knowing where it is). Which is proper gay, as i can't see her this week due to Work Experience, and then she's gone for half term. Gayities.
-So much tech to do next week, so this might be a blessing in disguise, in that i won't be able to put it off!

OK, bound to have forgotten something, but this is all mostly irrelevant to everyone who isn't me. But i had fun reading it...

Ah yes, my driving test. It's finally booked!
I'll be proving myself to a tester at 1502 (exactly) on Wednesday the 5 of april.
COuld be driving to school soon!

Ay up. Pretty boring day to be honest. Biology=coursework. Games=went in goal in the cold with no gloves... stupid. History= no work. Economics= more government financial policies i only partially understand.

Done a fair bit of tech this weekend though. I have put together the entire iron frame for my lift shaft. This, of course, now means we are lacking a set of shelves in the shed... And i can start to visualize the finished article for this lift demonstrator.

Sunday was great: our match had to be called off because of a punchup/argument thingy at the end. One of their players had stamped on our keeper's wrist after he'd picked it up and was starting to stand up. (He got a straight red, leaving them with just 8 players on the pitch). This led to out entire team, and the 'keeper's mum/dad/brother running on to 1. try n help him, 2. shout, swear, threaten the other team, who were actually defending the guy who did it. Was interesting to be in, though i was lucky some of their players held a guy back from getting at me- i may have said a *few* expletives to him he wasn't very happy about...

The keeper was rushed straight to hospital, and we've since found out that it's not broken, but very very weak now. Great, no keeper for the quarter final of the cup in a fortnight! This lot had a reputation for being dirty, and it kind of explains why they're second in the league. I'd like to think we proved a point by going in just as heavily on them... You can totally tell we're both pub teams though! Oh, and we drew 2-2 if anyone's still interested...




Got sent this today, as circulated through my dad's office:

1. OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.

2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman, but even saying it to kids makes you the man.

3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.

4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.

5. GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish. Noisy destruction = man.

6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, " Let's go " and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.

7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8. HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. " Ooh, did it hurt " . " Nah " .

9. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. " Big night? " Grrrrr, what does it look like.

10. NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. " We've not seen eye to eye in the past " , it says " but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line " .

11. USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12. KICKING A FOOTBALL AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g! Stitch that Becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.

14. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Billiant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15. CARVING THE ROAST - and saying " are you a leg or breast man " to the blokes and " do you want stuffing " to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.

16. WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17. TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally Homebase would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18. TAKING OUT £ 200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19. PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. " Alright? Yep. Drink? Red Lion? Seven? Sounds good. See ya."

20. PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.

21. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut, while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Ahhhh.

22. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. " Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage ".

23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - " A Phillips? For that? Are you mad, woman?"

Hello, i'm home from work, and have got to go straight into tech coursework. it's not necessary, but there's a lot of ProDizzling that still needs doing.

T'was wierd; my normal weekday hours are 530-10, but tonight i did 5-9. Don't quite know why, it means someone's got to come in for the last hour. Work was boring as ever, but not only do i have to go through it all again tomorrow (making it sound like a right ordeal here), but i've been dragged into overtiming again NEXT wednesday!

Economics module today. Fun Fun Fun. The stuff was on syllabus items i already knew, but the last question was very vague and was hard to know what to write exactly. Not good when it's worth 25% of the total marks available...

On the driving front, today's lesson was a disaster. I couldn't concentrate, and stalled so many times. I've been so confident driving my car, but when i use my instructor's car, it seems so difficult. Which is odd, as his car has Power Steering, ABS, and is diesel. Mine has none of those, and is petrol. His car is better, but i prefer driving mine. It's making me consider the benefits of continuing with this instructor and just learning/being tested in my car...

I have decided on a New Year's resolution! I will sort out my joints. As anyone who's sat next to me for any real amount of time will have found out, my joints click incessantly.If you haven't heard this, just ask-i'll give a demonstration! I've been to the doctor about it, as my knees hurt when it clicks (nowhere else does, it's just annoying), but he reckons it's just 'cos i'm still growing (still chasing my dad's six foot five!). Though, he also said if i stop growing, but it still hurts, i should go back to see him, as it could be more serious than growing pains. Apparently it could be that i have torn meniscus ligaments in my knees, so the joint doesn't move around properly.

So anyway, i'm now trying everything that's supposed to be good for your joints- calcium, cod liver oil (eurgh...), leg exercises n shit.

ProDizzle beckons, so i shall bid you adieu.

Turns out our three months was on the 5th, not 15th.

Man, i'm observant...

Ay up; it's time for you all to revel in the wonderful story that is "what i've been up to, and am now thus reporting back to you, for the last few days".

The title needs work...

Town on friday, was spafe (haven't said that in a while :p), just hanging out for a while. Though im sure everyone reading this already knew that, as you were all there...

Saturday, needless to say Reading won. It's not even worth if we did anymore, because you will only feel embarressed and full of self-hatred at not knowing the result. The "Did Reading win? DID READING WIN? Can you possibly think of any other outcome?" won't do your self esteem any good.

All you football haters, please note, all us Reading lovers (bandwagon jumpers excluded) will be unbearable in the next few weeks, and without a doubt before February is over. This is because, Reading are but five wins away from sealing promotion. Just five wins from the remaining 17 games!

I say bandwagon jumpers excluded, because you are not real fans. If you were real fans you wouldn't have bought your first season ticket this season because Reading are soaring ahead of everyone. You would have got one years ago. You would have been there during the 5,000 attendance match at home to Huddersfield just 3 years ago, not one of the 'halfies' coming for hte first time as one of the 22000 at home to Sheffield, Leeds, Coventry! You would have been there in Elm Park, standing through some of the most boring, predictable football this town has seen, in an era where a crowd of 5,000 was considered to be an achievement, and where anything with Scottish heritage and a pulse would be pulling on a Reading kit within two weeks of being discovered. You would have been stood, freezing your bollocks off as you saw your team lose yet again on a cold wet January night on uncovered terraces.

Ah well. All that really matters is that ill be seeing my team playing the likes of Man Utd and Chelsea next year. And ill be guaranteed a seat for every game.

It's kind of lucky that Reading should be up this year. As Alex said: this is our last year for us to see Reading in the Premiership. If we weren't playing in the Premiership next year, they might do so when im off at Uni...

OK, football head off!

T'was me n Katie's three months yesterday (i'm fairly sure it was yesterday), or 1/4 of a year to make it seem even more impressive. And what a great three months it's been.


Oh, yes, and for the rest of Sunday, my team lost our first match of 2006, in a match that can only be described as "absolute wank", which is exactly what is said in the match report. That said, in either a pisstake, or as the best of a bad bunch, i managed to be named "player of the match". cool. Now all i need is to get a friggin goal in!

Right, Economics revision/ History notes beckon, so i shall bid you adieu...

Ooh, and while i remember, due to Ben Pen and Tom "GAY GOOSING SHITE" Walker backing out after having ordered tickets from us, me, Rod n Nick have two spare tickets to come with us, or go separately from us, to Less Than Jake at the Astoria on April 7th 2006. If anyone's interested, let one of us know, as we need to lose these soon. If we don't find a buyer by March, they'll be going on eBay...

Hello again.

As you may have read, my team's into the quarter finals of the B&B Junior Cup. But we haven't stopped at being in the last 8. Oh no! For some reason, one of the other teams is now out of the cup, so we're into the last 7! When the draw goes ahead in the next few days, we have a 1 in 7 chance of getting a bye into the semis! How cool is that?

I have had my Player Profile updated on the club website, and am now renowned for "being able to drink like a fish, despite only being at the tender age of 18". They got my age wrong, but hey... i have a reputation to live up to now. (there's talk of a party bus for the next doo!)

Reading Festival! Is only 7 months away :p, and i am going to be buying Alex, Rod and Nick's tickets along with mine. That's going to be one valuable piece of mail! It should be great; we probably spent as much time in the campsite as we did in the arena last year.

We were reminiscing about it in Biology today. Isn't it amazing that you can completely forget something, then just have it jogged in your mind and you remember it completely? I had this moment today- on the friday night of the fest, for example, i was so out of it, i didn't quite manage to shut my tent when we went to sleep, so when everyone (well, just Viraj & Bob) got up in the morning, they could see my legs sticking out of my tent. Didn't help i was taller than it as well though...

I'm ProDizzling at the moment. And for anyone who doesn't do Tech, and so doesn't speak the lingo, i am using ProDesktop to make computerised images of every sodding component of my tech coursework (it's only 20 or so components, including 8 gears, who need to have every tooth exactly produced...).

Finally, a downer. Didn't get to meet up with Katie today. My phone is a nobber. So i am going to take it back to the Link at some point and get them to ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out...

Today was our "biggest game of the season" and probably ever, as i'm told the last 16 was the furthest we've ever gotten in the cup.

Of course, that wasn't going to stop us; we played a team from the division above us, and managed to win 4-2!

This means we're into the quarter-finals (last 8, having began in the first 152), and just 2 wins away from the final at Reading Town's ground (it's not the Madejski Stadium, but it's still a semi-pro ground)!

So, this is actually our longest cup run ever! Get in!

We've just been watching the 40 Year Old Virgin. 'Tis very funny.

So yes, welcome to 2006. I hope you all welcomed in the year in style; I did so with a glass of champers (ooh, very poshe), a flashing ice cube, my aunt, uncle and cousins (who i might add, were lucky to be up til midnight, considering they're 8 and 3 years old respectively) and 50 party poppers, all set off in the space of about 2 minutes.

Whilst there are definitely better ways to celebrate the New Year, this wasn't half bad.

During the day, we went to the Leicester Lazer Quest (reliving those childhood memories of derelict buildings hosting lighting fights...), and being the legend that (i claim) i am, i won all three games. discount the fact that my opponents were my uncle, my 8 year old cousin and my two younger brothers, and this was a well deserved position!

Also, my uncle has a Subaru Impreza WRX. 112mph on country roads was very fun, albeit slightly worrying on those tight corners. This was the only driving experience of the weekend ahead of doing 90 down the M1 to get back to Reading for the match this afternoon.

Good thing we got back; 5-1 to the mighty Royals!


Do you know what's cool? My MP3 player broke on saturday, my warranty was due to run out on wednesday. So i took it to Dixons, and they gave me a brand new one (which holds twice as many songs) as a replacement without even checking the old one was broken! Wierd- normally you'd think they'd be suspicious: teenager... 3 days left on warranty... probably broke it to get a new one...

Ah well, i'm not gonna complain about it. Now, i wonder if the same thing will work when i goto sort out my phone's cracked screen?

The moral of this story kids: always keep the reciepts and packaging of your electrical equipment. And always make sure it breaks within the warranty!

I'm sure there's something i'm forgetting to mention, but ah well. I suppose i ought to sleep, what with school soon. oh wait; i'm not back til thursday! Psssh, sleep is overrated. mainly because im wide awake, and won't be able to get to sleep.

Ok, so the last one wasn't my last entry of the year. But this cannot wait until 2006!


Earlier today i contacted the accused to discuss Port Vale's thrashing of one Huddersfield Town.

However, i was flabbergasted by Mr Walker's response. Copied word-for-word from the text he sent me:

"Fuck You! I got a Chelsea shirt for xmas, so i support them now!"

I shit you not.

Not only has he abandoned his so called "beloved" Huddersfield (or "Town " as he calls them), he is funding the franchise. The only thing worse he could do would be to support the MK Dons!